The stage was set, the actors were in position and the leading lady was just finishing off pampering herself, waiting for her adoring public to arrive.
Back in the real world, the house was gleaming from top to bottom thanks to the team from 'Butch boys can dust' cleaners. The boys even gave my parquet flooring an extra buff. Bruce and his mates from the carwash were all at their posts. Two directing the cars for parking, while Bruce and the rest became very sexy, hunky, waiters. Some with glasses of champagne, some with glasses of Rosario's punch and the rest carrying the canapés which were a sight to see. Rosario had worked all night crushing grapes and cooking while spoon feeding me Sloe Gin every 30 minutes. Trying to keep me awake while Crispin worked his camp magic on the house with flowers. (Crispin is more 'creative' at night)
The guests are starting to arrive and there was no turning back now(I am going to hate seeing this bill when it comes in, Oh well the husband is paying so lets have even more gardenias)
WOW the house was electric, people moving everywhere, most stopping and admiring the original artwork on the walls and who would blame them.. All around me was Laughter, music and loads of VIP's. Within the space of 5 minutes I counted 1 Mayor, 2 Sir's, 3 Honourable's, 5 Ladies, hold on........... is that over there, Yes, 1 Bishop, and a Duchess (Ok european but still counts) All knocking back the champagne and attacking Rosario's Mexican Volcanos like rabid dogs. Talking of dogs no sign of Mrs West and at that moment everyone could feel the temperature drop and standing in the door way with a fake half smile was Mrs West.
Walking towards to greet her as any good host would do, the bitch just looked through me and marched straight to the Mayor. Bruce stepped forward to offer her a glass of champagne,
"How dare you, I do not drink alcohol" dismissing him,without even looking at him.
I whispered to him to bring a glass of Rosario's punch, no one else has drunk any and it's non alcoholic I think.
What happens next I will have to explain carefully so you understand.
Rosario was shuffling around in the Morning Room with a tray of Mexican Volcano's which consisted of:-
Bottom layer was a Tostada crisp, then shredded lettuce, then refried beans, then tomato salsa, then sour cream, then a slice of avocado, topped off with smoked paprika.
The old witch could hear every word Mrs West was saying to the Mayor who later repeated her words to me. The Mayor is a close 'Private" friend (some people are better kept in the closet so to speak).
One minute Mrs West was saying"Mayor I am so sorry about all this, I am disgusted and really quite embarrassed that you had to come to this house."
The next moment Rosario had tripped on my Persian rug, the tray and her boney ass went up into the air and every Mexican volcano came down on Mrs West like rainbow coloured bird shit. All over her hair, face, glasses, skirt, blouse and Cardigan. (I will let that pass about the cardigan, but who in there right mind wears a brown cardigan to an event like this...No Taste)
"ROSARIO FOR FUCK SAKE.... You rancid old hag, get you're rotting flesh off my Persian rug. Oh and before I forget take Rosemary oh sorry De-de up to the blue and white suite and clean her up."
Rosario jumped to her feet like a young gymnast and bolted her hand to Mrs West's wrist who was totally motionless, the evil witch was just standing there like a dummy. Rosario guided her passed all the people into the hall.
"Hurry up Rosario move faster and don't let any salsa drip on my Parquet flooring."
To be continued........
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