The New Housekeeper........

    Someone had to move first so grabbing the bull by the horns (Oh I do love that saying, happy days, many a Friday night I would go grab me some balls. Sorry slip of the tongue I mean Bulls. By that I mean the summer in Spain watching the ball fight every Friday night) gliding down the stairs,  my arm  wraps tightly around Rosario's shoulder.

Now the real truth......

 Well, what really happened was that as I was gliding down the stairs and missed the last step nearly going ass over tit. Grabbing the mexican, really to steady myself because she was the closest thing to me, just missing her shoulder my arm wrapped around her turkey neck in a sort of head lock. Steadying my nerves and remembering  "It pays to tell the truth" I let my inner bitch out and spoke to the Three Queens.

"Girls what a lovely surprise, but as you can see I have a new Housekeeper. One can see the horror in your faces but you three must remember the Mayor's drinks party and that moving film about 'Help the Aged' Well I thought I would give back to the community and employ somebody nobody else wanted. We are very busy and I will invite you all around when I find out what Rosario can do, so don't stay by your phones as this may take a while."

Before letting out the words " as this may take a while"  I released Rosario and slammed the door shut.

So much for telling the truth, oh well by the time those three old bags get in their cars even that orange jumpsuit would have changed colour. While I have this new determination I better deal with the new Housekeeper. All my senses were on fire and I really had wished I had lost my sense of smell right at this moment as I know that queer smelling odour was not coming from me
.   

 Turning around it was time to direct all my attention to the new Housekeeper.

"Rosario for this to work you will need to know one thing..... I am Queen Bitch around here and you will abide by my rules." (I must stop flinging my arms about it looks like I'm going to take off)

Still nothing on that wrinkled prunes old face, Wow that face is frightening up close and that eye it just seems to follow you while the other stays perfectly still. The more I look at her the more I see wrinkles, does this woman have any part of her that's not wrinkled. I really think I need to bleach my mind with these thoughts of Rosario standing before me naked, that could even turn a lesbian straight. One second I'm thinking about wrinkles the next I want to be given electrodes to rid me of that naked image.

So here are your rules, but not many as I really don't think that withered old brain of yours can cope . 

RULES

1. Never go into my Bathroom. I need one room that's does not smell of old granny wee.
2. Never wake me before midday. You can if you want to suffer.
3. You sleep, eat and live in the summerhouse, no visitors. I don't want my summerhouse and garden used as a daycare centre for the old.
4. No boyfriends or girlfriends (ok with that face and body no problem keeping this rule)
5. As you seem to like to cook that will be your main duty (plus making sure I am happy at all times) but as you are old and can't do the other duties around the house and gardens I will need to get other staff (hunky young men with ripped shirts wading through all my undergrowth). So the wage you would have got is now going on my new GHS project. (GHS stands for Get Hunky Staff. Well, do you blame me.) Just be grateful I am not charging you rent for the summerhouse.
6. Please get that bloody onesie off and your clothes back on until a new uniform arrives.  

"You are a very strange boy " was her only response and she started to walk back towards the kitchen.

"Don't you shuffle away from me when I'm talking to you." I started screaming down the hall.

"I'm your punishment" she shouted back as she kept shuffling.

"You're not my punishment (I have my Mother for that) your just ROTTING FLESH, now hurry up get that onesie off and pour me a large drink.........And use Gloves"

To be continued...........