I had positioned myself at the beer tent so I could watch who was going in to have their reading done next. The line of people
snaked through the fete, the old witch is going to be knackered after all this.
Standing outside the tent was "I'm not Gay" Queenie, who was wearing
some second hand wizards costume from the Harry Potter set. By the looks of
it, it must have been a third rate wizard. On his feet were his normal Turkish
slippers, curled up at the end. He was there to direct the punters into seeing Madame Rosario. Inside the tent which was dark with only a few candles dotted
about was a table covered in a deep purple velvet cloth. On top to the cloth
was a large crystal ball. Three chairs are around the table, one on one side
for Madame Rosario and the other two for her victims. Time to test out this
system and see how good it is.
"Calling 'Gate way to Hell' can you hear
me?" I knew Rosario was inside the tent.
"SSSHHHH, I'm calling my spirits, shut
up strange boy." Madame Rosario answers back, I now knew the technology
was working fine.
"Time for the first customers, the Van
Da Cock twins, shout Queenie to let them in and let the show begin."
"Queenie let the Belgium toads in." The third rate wizard parted the curtains and beckoned the twins to enter. I sat on the grass next to the beer tent to listened to Madame Rosario work her magic.
"Sit twins from Belgium." Madame
Rosario said.
"This is going to be a load of utter
rubbish, I really don't know why we bothered Mathieu." Cedric screwed up
his face, like he has smelt a whiff from the sewage works. Madame Rosario
stretched out her arm and puts her hand with her palm facing up on the table.
"This is when we are meant to pass her
palm with silver" Mathieu was excited by now.
"Sorry haven't you heard of inflation,
only take notes but I do have here a credit card machine if you wanted to pay
by card. Pay up Tweedle Dum, Now." Cedric passed over the notes and Madame
Rosario made the money disappear in front of their eyes.
"Cedric, 'Shirley' yes I said 'Shirley'
your secret will come out, and you Mathieu Baby." She just stopped
and stared at both. The twin came rushing out of that tent white as a sheet and
I really have not got a clue what the old witch said to them.
"Bitch, what was all that about, could
not understand a word."
"Don't worry strange boy I will tell you
their secret later, who is next?" Rosario asked with excitement in her
voice.
"Bishop's wife, The Bishop has just been
arguing with her and has stormed off, and is now propping up the bar behind me in this tent."
The same routine happened from Queenie
opening the curtain to Madame Rosario offering different ways to pay.
"My husband is very against it, says its
all a load of rubbish." Mrs. Bishop said in her posh schoolgirl voice.
"Let me look and see what the spirits
show me........................ I am starting to see something..............Flowers........ Loads of flowers, I see a floral bedspread, wallpaper, carpet and curtains even cushions........HOLD ON."
Rosario stands and her chair falls back onto the grass.
"My spirit guide wants to talk to
me......Tracy.......Tracy Wigwam........Talk to me........Yes......I
see.......Oh no.........Slap.........Tickle."
" What is Tracy Wigwam saying Madame Rosario?"
Mrs. Bishop was now on her feet clasping her hands, ready to pray down on her knees at any moment if asked to do.
"Tracy Wigwam, Thank you, kind soul, I
will pass the spirits message on." By this time the Bishop's wife was
wetting herself.
"The spirits are very unhappy with you, they have
to wear sunglasses when visiting your home. You have Bad, nasty taste woman, please at
least change that floral wallpaper in your bedroom." Rosario picked up her
chair and sat back down.
"It's my husbands fault we have to
always have to have cast offs or second hand because he always gives 80 bloody
% of his salary to charity." Mrs. Bishop was by now red in the face.
"Your time is up, get out you tasteless
trout. But one thing before you go, second drawer down is a good place to store
edible undies. NOW GET OUT" The Bishop's wife raced out of the tent and
started to hunt for her husband.
People came in and out at a fast speed. Some
with happy faces but most with shock, even a couple of ladies from the committee
came screaming and crying out from the tent. Madame Rosario was brilliant, I
really did not have a clue most of the time what she was going on about. The
money was racking up then next in the queue was Mrs. West. The Hippo was going
to see what all the fuss was about and demanded to be seen next.
"Let the Hippo in." Came the haunting voice from inside the tent. Mrs. West pushed Queenie to the ground and charged in.
Once inside Madame Rosario was standing with
her arms stretched out and muttering. The muttering got louder and louder until
every candle in the tent went out and all Mrs. West could see was Madame
Rosario's Face.
"I see a Queen, her reign has been long
but cruel." Madame Rosario said in a trans like state.
"What a load of rubbish, you Mexican
immigrant " Mrs. West had steam coming out from her ears.
"And here comes the chopper to chop off her head
and born is a new Queen with beauty and grace who will reign long and happy after the
old Queen's.......... DEATH." Mrs. West nearly blew up and was seen striding away
from the tent shouting
"Rubbish, that woman is totally mad, just like the pervert she works for."
"Judges for the 'Jam of the Year'
competition please make there way to the Judging tent. Thank you." The
voice announced over the loud speaker.
"Madame Rosario, you are fab and thanks
for what you said to the hippo. Won't forget that, now got to go and judge, see
you in about thirty minutes."
"If you do what I told you then I will
see you in a couple of hours." Rosario piped up and I could hear smirking
coming from inside the tent.
I left Madame Rosario happy in her tent,
Queenie loved his role and the people were still snaking around in a line to
hear the Mystic's words. How fab, time for scone's and Jam, the only problems
were the other judges, The Bishop and The Van Da Cock twins.
To be
continued.................
